If It Ends With Money......

I would hear this phrase, "if it ends with money" in both English and Hebrew. The English came courtesy of friends who spoke English to me so I wouldn't have to struggle to keep up so much.

I didn't get it.

"If it ends with money"? What is this, a profit-making venture they're talking about? It was always in the context of bad news if not outright disaster.

I'd heard it so much, and sooo did not understand, and I was already embarassed by my limited Hebrew skills so I didn't want to blurt out, "WHAT are you talking about?"

The reason I didn't understand became clear last week. It's a PART of a phrase. Yes, it applies to disasters, usually of the major medical or automobile kind.

Your teenager was in an accident and the car will be in the garage for a week. But he's fine. "Thank G-d! If it ends with money...."

Your elderly mother dropped a heavy vase which shattered all over the floor. No one was hurt. "Thank G-d! If it ends with money...."

Your brother is confronted by an angry tus-tus driver who is shouting that he was cut off in traffic. The driver slams his helmet into your brother's car and shatters the windshield. Your brother is fine but needs a new windshield. "Thank G-d! If it ends with money...."

You've just received the results of a blood test, and your doctor tells you your have some wierd syndrome you've never heard of before--and it's easily cured but the medicine isn't in the health basket and it's expensive. "Thank G-d! If it ends with money...."

Last week, a neighbor's car died. While she was driving it. In the middle of a busy boulevard. She had it towed to the garage and it was eventually fixed for 1500 NIS she didn't really have in her budget. "But thank G-d you weren't hit!" I exclaimed, knowing how busy that road is.

"Yes, exactly what I was saying," she responded, "If it ends with money...."

"If it starts with money and it ends with money, thank G-d, because it's only money," our other friend chimed in. No one died. No one was injured. It's money, it's not life or limb. It can be fixed.

NOW I get it.